YMJen

I’ll admit it… Reluctantly.

When it comes to youth ministry, I’ve gotten a bit arrogant.

So last weekend, when I got to the “Extravaganza,” a conference put on by the ELCA’s Youth Ministry Network, and recognized very few names in the program, I thought that I would get little out of the conference. As a workshop presenter, I thought sure that I would give more than I got.

And while I sincerely hope that God used my workshop in people’s lives, as it turns out, I also got a lot out of the Extravaganza.

In particular, I was blown away by one of the main stage speakers, Father Gregory Boyle. Father Greg spoke about his ministry, “Homeboy Industries,” which gives jobs to LA gangbangers. As Father Greg spoke, he shared stories of the “soul finding its worth”. His message was both inspirational and challenging to me as I reflected on the weight and responsibility that God has given me in helping teens to find their worth; To discover their identity in Christ.

Besides Father Greg’s message, there were also several other things that I really valued about Extravaganza including

- It’s smallness and simplicity. Too often in youth ministry, we measure our success by how big we are. Yet, I appreciated the smallness of Extravaganza; Of the hospitality that you can have when you’re small; And of the opportunities for reflective and experiential worship.

- The heart that I continue to see within the ELCA to do social justice.

- Their willingness to engage in difficult conversations that have no easy answers. For example, Saturday afternoon, we had a lunch to discuss multiculturalism in the church in response to an initiative begun a couple years ago. Having served in a multi-ethnic church, I was so pleased to see someone intentionally engaging others in this conversation. Conversations like these are a great starting point. My hope and prayer is that they will not also be the end point.

- The number of “old” people who were present. Though I’ve long believed that you’re never too old to do youth ministry (in fact, it’s even something that I talked about at my workshop on Saturday morning), this is a value that I’ve too seldom seen in practice. At 29, I’m now one of the “older” people in the room at most of the conferences I attend. With eight years experience, I’m also usually considered a youth ministry veteran. Not so at this conference, where those in the 40+ crowd far outnumbered those in their 20s and where ministry newbies were recognized as being anyone with less than 10 years of experience. It was truly inspiring to rub shoulders with people who could measure their time in youth ministry in decades rather than in years.

Having oscillated between mainline denominations and evangelical ones, I can tell you that there are many things that I appreciate about both worlds. Yet, one of my criticisms of mainline denominations is their unwillingness to learn from and appreciate what the evangelical world brings to Christianity and specifically to youth ministry. Yet, ironically, because of my own arrogance, I nearly missed out on what the Lutheran world brings to Christianity & specifically to youth ministry.

The Lutherans aren’t perfect and they don’t have it all figured out, but then again, neither do I.

Having realized that, I’d say this weekend at Extravaganza didn’t so much recharge me as humble me.

And for that, I’m thankful.

Last week, I met with an adult leader who is stepping down from serving in my youth ministry.

I wholeheartedly believe that it should be difficult for an adult to start serving in youth ministry but easy for him to stop serving. For this reason, I didn’t fight this leader, who we’ll call Steve, when he said he wanted to stop serving. Yet, our conversation left me heartbroken.

In the last year, Steve has lost the three things that mattered most to him: His job; His girlfriend; And his independence as his unemployment forced him to return to his parent’s home. Because of all this, one day, not long ago, Steve woke up and realized that he no longer believed in God. After all, how could a good and loving God allow allow this to happen to him?

Even more heartbreaking than that confession was the realization that followed. As Steve described it, churches are like businesses and so in times of hardship, they must “trim the fat” and eliminate those parts that are no longer contributing to it. Unemployed, Steve no longer contributes financially to our church and so he thinks of himself as part of this excess fat that must be trimmed from the church. What’s more, he’s also concluded that if he no longer shares everyone else’s belief about God, he has no place in our church, let alone in our youth ministry as an adult leader who’s supposed to be a role model to high school students.

As Steve told me this, I thought of Jesus’ conversation with the Pharisees in Matthew 9:10-13:

“As he sat at dinner in the house, many tax collectors and sinners came and were sitting with him and his disciples. When the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, “Why does your teacher eat with tax collectors & sinners?” But when he heard this, he said, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners.”“

As I reflected on this in light of my conversation with Steve, I couldn’t help but wonder, when did the mission of the church change? When did we stop being a place for sinners and start being a place only for people who have their act together? How have we, the church, given people this impression about us?

Because I know that I can’t convince someone in Steve’s mindset that God is good, I didn’t even try to do so. Instead, I simply tried to communicate God’s grace to him by inviting him to continue to serve in our youth ministry on the condition that he be honest with the youth about his doubts and about his crisis of faith.

I invited Steve to continue serving because I believe that the God I worship and serve is sovereign; That he’s big enough to deal with any and all of our doubts and failings and that he is faithful to us during them. Because of this, I’m not afraid to allow my students to see this play out in the lives of our leaders. In fact, I believe that seeing an adult leader wrestle with his doubts and come out on the other side of them is something that may actually provide students with the very best role model possible. Hopefully, if they can see adults successfully navigate this process, then when they’re faced with their own doubts and crises of faith, those things won’t be so devastating to their faith because they’ll have confidence that they too will be able to endure; They’ll know that God will meet them in the midst of their doubts and fears and that their church will support them.

Though Steve didn’t take me up on my offer to continue serving in our youth ministry, my prayer is that in the days and weeks ahead, he will discover God’s faithfulness and goodness anew & that our church will play a role in demonstrating this eternal truth to him. I pray that we can reclaim the church as a place for broken, weak, and imperfect people and that in doing so, Steve will discover his value to it and the church’s value to him.